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Posted 1 month ago

Fecal Amnesia

So I walked into the bathroom and noticed there was shit in the toilet. After flushing it down, confirming the toilet was not clogged, I thought my roommate must have forgotten to flush the toilet. Shortly after, I realized I had taken a shit earlier so I must have been the one that forgot to flush… Then I thought maybe we both forgot and I took a shit on top of his shit. That would be weird. I’m not really sure how I forgot to flush in the first place.

fucking hilarious…

via sigh-goddamnit

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Posted 1 month ago

Zoom

via most-awkward-moments

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Posted 4 months ago

The awkward moment when you shout the wrong answer in class with confidence

totally-relatable:

Follow Totally-Relatable for the funniest and most relatable posts.

(Source: barbiefuckyeah)

via totally-relatable

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Posted 4 months ago

jonbloom:

MacBook Giveaway
So I recently got a 13” MacBook Air so instead of selling my old one on craigslist, I decided to do a giveaway. The rules are pretty simple, reblog this photo as many times as you want. I’ll choose someone using random.org, a random number generator, on New Years around midnight.
Open to anyone, really.
Winner pays international shipping.
Must follow: http://jonbloom.tumblr.com to be eligible. I check.

(Source: 5271)

via lmaogtfo

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Posted 5 months ago

lololol

(Source: sohnyongs)

via phoneboothconfessional

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Posted 5 months ago

i-like-pigeons:

Girl: I’m having heart surgery today.

Boy: I know.
Girl: I love you!
Boy: I love you more, much more!

After surgery, when the girl woke up, only her father is next to her bed.

Girl: Where is he?
Father: You don’t know who gave you the heart?
Girl: What? (She starts crying)
Father: I’m just kidding, he went to the toilet.